With the holidays drawing near, I thought it might be a fun departure from the "What I'm Thankful For" type posts, to get real. Really real. Let's talk about the things that maybe you weren't so thankful for at the time, but now you can laugh about. Years later. Maybe many years later.
There's no graphic to grab and write on this week because I have too many dang disasters to fit on one!
Ok, so I have fallen into the role of Thanksgiving hostess among the families. I'm good with it. I can actually make a darn good turkey and I like having a house full of family and friends (once a year. lol!) Here's me last year, P.IG {Pre
Instagram, where I currently document every minute of my life} sharing my William Sonoma catalog cover-worthy turkey. Don't I look all stress free and stuff?
It hasn't always been so stress free. Ok, so disaster number one. After years of stressing out to get everything prepped, cooked, and perfect ON Thanksgiving, I've realized it's ok to do some things ahead of time. Three years ago I was cooking some stuffing the day before Thanksgiving. I'll let you read the rest though the magic of the Facebook timeline. I think you'll also appreciate the sincere concern my friends have for my safety and well-being...
After that, my husband pretty much insisted we get rid of the rest of the Pyrex. That was actually a pretty scary experience, but thankfully no food, fingers, or faces were harmed in the Great Pyrex Explosion of 2010.
My next disaster happened last year, shortly after I took that nice stress-free picture next to the bird. It was just me and my hubby, and my sister and her husband at the house so far. The rest of the family of 15 or so was set to be there in about ten minutes. I had almost dislocated my shoulder patting myself on the back about how stress-free and well-planned everything was. I was ready to welcome everyone, I was relaxing with a cocktail, rockin my Wii basketball skills (That's right. I'm a baller) when I casually wandered in the kitchen on cloud nine to refill my drink. I saw that the sink was still full of potato peels, so I turned on the disposal and started grinding them up. Except they wouldn't grind up. Or go down. Or stop spitting out of the disposal! I went from super-cool, easy breezy hostess to complete maniac in about seven seconds. After hearing my panicked cries, my sister, brother in law and hubby rushed in. We shut off the disposal, but nothing would go down. I stuck my hand way down into the depths of disposal disgustingness and pulled out all the stuck peels, thinking that would do the trick. When I turned the disposal back on, it rebelled and crap and water shot straight up out of the drain and all over everything! Water was backing up into the other sink and the dishwasher. I was really ready to cry at that point. How can you not have a sink for Thanksgiving dinner - the biggest dishwashing holiday of the year! Well, we tried Draino, we tried moving the blades of the disposal with a broom handle (I have no idea why, but I thought I remembered reading that somewhere...don't try it. Doesn't work...) Then my husband tried using a toilet plunger (hey, desperate times). He plunged and plunged...nothing. I was thisclose to packing everything up and rerouting the family to my mother in laws house, when my brother in law gave it one last crazy hard plunge. I thought for sure he was either going to have a heart attack or my sink would actually fall out of the countertop and onto the floor with the force of that plunge...but it worked! That sucking sound of the water going down the drain was the most beautiful sound ever. I cried. for real. Then I wiped off my sweat and tears and said a secret thankful prayer for the plunger.
Can you believe I have one more? My mother in law is a wonderful woman. I love her like she's my own mother. But she has a major slight case of OCD. She's also ridiculously a little stuck on tradition. So, every year she insists on bringing sweet potatoes, even though we have mashed potatoes and sweet potato casserole. No one ever eats them. Never. Ever. Not even her! So I told her not to bring them last year. But she brought them anyway. Ok, whatever. I put them in the oven to keep them warm while we were getting everything ready. And then forgot about them. For weeks! I preheated the oven for something and the smell that filled the house was like nothing I've ever experienced in my life! I was sniffing all over the house and realized it was the oven. I opened it and realized I was baking a pan of moldy, rotten sweet potatoes! I grabbed them, ran out the front door with them and threw them, pan and all, into the front yard! Thankfully, my saintly husband cleaned it up before the neighborhood dogs got wind of it. If she brings those dang potatoes this year, they are NOT going in the oven!
So, am I the only clutzy, forgetful, emotional basketcase cook out there? Share your craziness with me please. Let me know I'm not alone! Link up with your holiday disasters!
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